Distance
by Little-Firestar84
Summary: She did not know what to think. Mostly, she was scared. She did not want to get hurt, nor she wanted to hurt him. They both needed time and space, and there was no way they could do that there. The only thing she could do was running away.


**Title: Distance**  
**Author:**Little_firestar84  
**Rating:** T (to be safe)  
**Characters:** Nathan/Audrey. Mentions of Sarah/Nathan and Jordan/Nathan  
**Summary: **She did not know what to think. Mostly, she was scared. She did not want to get hurt, nor she wanted to hurt him. They both needed time and space, and there was no way they could do that there. The only thing she could do was running away.  
**Disclaimer:** Uhm, no, no way. I'd like for them to be mine, but they aren't. Ergo, Nathan and Audrey don't get enough love in real show. **  
**

**Notes: spoiler until episode "Sarah"!**

* * *

At the end, they all survived the hunter, and like the troubles had returned, they were gone. Haven was going to be the usual, boring small Maine village once more, only with just few more skeletons in its closets than the average small town.

This time, though, _she _was still there.

It was not clear how it had happened, but apparently, was it magic, sheer will, love or who knows what else, Audrey had stayed. The woman who had always vanished, alongside the troubles, every 20 years or, every time The Hunter used to strike, was still there.

And she loved _him_.

He remembered hearing the words as he was still half alive-half dead, and, as much as it had pained him doing so, he had had to push her away. They both could not do it right now, as much as they were in love. He did not want to force Audrey into his life just because she was scared of vanishing before having given a chance, and he was not ready to abandon the Guard yet... ergo, he had to kept up appearance with Jordan.

Besides, as much as it hurted him, Jordan needed him. He knew what a life without touch was like, and he did not wish it for anyone (maybe Duke in his darkest moments), and if he could give her a touch or normality for just a short while, so be it.

Really, it was like catching two birds with one stone, more or less. He was miserable, but he could handle it for Audrey.

And then, just like that... the troubles were gone.

He dd not know if it was going to be like last time or, with Audrey still there, things were meant to change too. Maybe this time it was over for good, and he was finally having the chance of living a proper, normal life.

With _her._

He had showed up at Audrey's late at night, already knowing what he was going to find. She did not answer the doorbell, did not open the door, but he knew that this time it was not because someone had taken her.

She simply could not believe it yet.

It was too good to be true. The Hunter was gone, the troubles were no more, and she was still there, still Audrey, with every single memory from every single past she had lived in that town... Audrey, Lucy, Sarah, Margareth, and so on, she had always been there, every 20 years so, since there had been an Haven.

And this time, she was there to stay.

She still could not believe it. It was too good to be true. It had to be one of those beautiful dreams that filled you with hope just to leave you broken-hearted in the morning.

So, since she could not believe yet that it was true, for once in her life she gave up, and when Nathan cupped her face and wiped her tears away, she allowed, finally, their lips to meet once again, and she did not protest as his hands skimmed the naked skin of her back, of lifted her jersey enough to reveal the marble skin of her stomach. Nor she did when, still kissing her, he slowly undressed her, just to make love to her in _her _bed, worshipping her, body and soul, with every single touch, every caress, every kiss and every thrust.

He actually _cried. _

He was not sure why, but he did. Maybe it was because he was relieved they were still there, maybe it was because he had given up the chance of being with her, of becoming one with her, or maybe it was because he had simply forgotten how it was to make love to a woman and actually _feel_ it. She kissed his tears away, and suffocated his whimpers of overwhelming pleasure with her lips. Afterwards, she cuddled against him, until her steady breathing and her heartbeat lulled him into a peaceful slumber.

She _did not _sleep that night. _At all. _

She kept thinking about Sarah and how much she had always treasured Nathan's memory in her heart. She thought about how much her old herself had loved him since the first moment they had met, and how much it was the same for her.

She could not stop thinking about how much Nathan said he loved her, of how low he had fallen to help her out, giving himself to a woman he felt nothing for, so that the one he loved could be safe.

She wondered if he meant it.

Maybe he loved her, or maybe he loved Jordan. How could he know for sure, she wondered? In the last few years, Nathan had jut felt two women, and she was both of them, just different incarnations. Maybe he loved her. Maybe he loved the _idea _of her. Or maybe he thought that now he owed her something. Maybe he had loved her just because she was the only one he could feel, and now he did not know what to do, feel or think any longer.

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

She did not know what to think. Mostly, she was scared. She did not want to get hurt, nor she wanted to hurt him. They both needed time and space, and there was no way they could do that there.

So, she simply run.

He never told Jordan that he had run to Audrey and slept with her.

He wondered if she knew, if she understood that there was something just _not right _with him.

He doubted it.

He had always given himself up completely to her, he had always allowed her to believe that the mask he wore was not a mask but actual reality. He had always been good at that. Maybe it was his real trouble, who knows.

Anyway, it was not like it really mattered. Audrey was not there any longer. She had left without as much as a note or a goodbye, or an explanation, while Jordan... Jordan was Jordan, and she was still there.

Maybe they could make it work now that they were both normal- as normal as they could get, at least.

The fact that they were not troubled in body any longer did not meant they were free from their troubles. It was far from it, actually. They both had their good share of ghosts in need of being buried, and they both did not know how to make it. Especially because they did not know how to include the other one. Jordan had almost killed with her touch, and she was supposed to live with that weight- did not matter how much that man had hurt her- while Nathan had never properly dealt with his father's death and was still struggling with intimacy. Being unable to feel, he had always kept people at bay, especially women, it was like it was hard for him caring for someone he could not feel on a physical level. Even now, he was hard and distant with Jordan, and as much as he knew she was hurt by his behaviour, he could not help it.

But he could not even leave her, because she was being too understanding with him. She did not push him to open up with her, nor she forced him to bring their relationship on the next level (again). While he had been part of the guard, he had made love-sex- with her, but it had been different. He did not know what pleasure felt like any longer back then, but now he could feel her, and it was like it was too much.

(Besides, he felt like he was cheating on Audrey, but it was not like he was going to admit it)

He was scared like a child, or maybe a teenager at his first time, when, two months later, he awkwardly tried to kiss her: he doubted Audrey was going to suddenly change her mind and return to him, and besides, he did not think he was supposed to wait for her. She had gone without telling him, she had called things off without giving them a chance or asking for what he thought on the matter at hand. She had taken the decision for the both of them, she had broken his heart and if she got her heart broken in the process too, so be it. She deserved it anyway.

Yes, he was mad with her, so mad that he did not cared if she suffered or not. Actually, if she did suffer, maybe it was even better. Yes, he was irrational, but he had gotten his heart broken, so a bit of poetic justice was all he needed, right?

But Jordan shook her head, and pushed him away. She even threw him out. Said they could not keep pretending, that it was not fair for all of them... they could not keep being together just because they had done so they could not have done any different. He loved Audrey, he was supposed to find her and tell her, and then bring her back and fight for their love, while, on her side, she had been long in love with a fellow member of the Guard, but she had never admitted the truth of her feelings because back then there was nothing they could have done about it. Calling things off with him- and being the one doing so- hurt more than he could think, she told him crying, but it was the only thing to do. It was the right thing. They would have been ok eventually, and one day he would have thanked her. They would always had a special place for each other in their memories and heart, but that was it. They had never meant to be, and if that had been really the end of the troubles, they owed to themselves such a truth.

He left under the pouring rain, took a cab to the nearest airport, and then took the first fight. His heart already knew where she was, and yet, he had preferred anger and resentment and revenge to hold her. But no more.

He smiled, finally, after months, when he looked at how small Haven looked from the window of the plane. It was nothing. They were nothing. Only _she _mattered.

And he was going to get her.

He decided that spring was her season.

The house had been neglected for too long, between James' father passing away and his mother being sick. The signs were still there, but slowly life was taking back control of that place.

Because she was taking care of it.

He wondered if it was some kind of weird pay-back. The couple had taken care of her son, and now she was the one taking care of what was theirs. James had been happy there, and now she was trying to feel it. Things always had something of the person they had belonged to- he had been in Haven long enough to know it- and he assumed that it was what she was trying to do. Sarah and Lucy had been around the baby for such a short period of time, and Audrey had never met him properly.

Was it weird, having a son and not knowing him?

He did not know. And maybe, it did not matter. Because, for the first time after so long, she was happy and radiant. He was not even sure he was supposed to go and get her. Maybe they were better off this way, after all. Who knew.

Or maybe...

Maybe it was time to prove his "father" wrong, that they could be together. He had always challenged the chief's authority since the teenage years, why was he supposed to do any different now, just because his father was no more and he was an adult?

And she had never been that beautiful, finally at peace. It was like that garden was her sanctuary, her oasis in the desert. Playing with a act and a dog, the white fence, anyone would have chuckled, calling her a living cliche', but he did not care. He wanted to draw in the feel, waking up in the morning and look from window at her, playing in the garden with her dog, and chasing a blond girl with dark blue eyes.

He just needed to have it all. No matter what.

Smiling, he went to her, making as little sound as possible, without alerting her of his presence, and when he was at her back, he just grabbed her for the shoulders, crashing her back against his chest and lowered his lips to kiss her hair. She turned in his arms, and she smiled at him, a happy, teary smile, and without a word, they met halfway in a slow, passionate and burning kiss.

They parted (when oxygen became a necessity, just like in novels; they both did not know it could actually be true) and he gave her his best lazy smile, the kind of smile that screamed troubles (not their usual kind of troubles, the other kind, every day, normal people kind of troubles) and she stopped wondering (and thinking) altogether.

Because there was no part of her that was not screaming for Nathan. Even with him still there.


End file.
